( A "shut up" is muffled by a deeper swig of rich beer with a flavour profile he hadn't expected. Lavis ale is golden brown and faintly sweet. This is dark brown and bitter; it has an aftertaste like coffee. And on it, his focus lingers too long.

The moment they've been building to is here, right now, and Kaladin is hesitating. This isn't a crisis of confidence, no... he'd feel one coming after years of enduring them on Roshar. The delay, he accepts, as he stares at Noctis with wide eyes, is a growing desire to prolong how he feels right now. Right now, seconds before telling his best friend his inmost vulnerabilities.

He feels like he's falling. )

My answer is that the happiness is more important than the fear. Your happiness... ( Tears collect in the corners of his eyes, and it's his turn to glance away. Overcoming the stress of admitting he matters, maybe as much as Noctis, feels impossible... but what if just for tonight, he pretends he does?

Kaladin reaches for smaller hands, requesting they steady his. The relief that comes from the simple touch makes him shudder. )

... and mine.

( Warmth. From the centre of his chest, it blooms outward and unfurls. It terrifies him, yet he allows himself to be embraced by it, hoping it's contagious and that it passes to Noctis through the squeezing of his fingers. The many branching paths of an existence he considered unsuited to holding onto this feeling converge here.

One last time, he has to try. To care for someone. To be cared for by someone. )

I love you, Noctis, ( Kaladin whispers. ) I want this... for as long as I can have it. Please accept my feelings.