[ Does he want to talk about it? That's an easy question to answer: no, he doesn't. But it's equally easy to imagine himself in his friend's shoes, uninformed and concerned. He's been in the dark a lot recently too, after all. ]
Wouldn't even know where to start, it's a lot. But I learned that someone close to me didn't make it through our war and I didn't know.
I'm sorry. I guess ... it probably doesn't even seem real. Since you haven't experienced it yourself.
[That's how some of what Shiro's gone through feels. He sympathizes, but it feels so distant. Removed. Keith tries to understand. And if it's a matter of what he himself should know?
[That hair comment was probably horribly insensitive, then. Keith kicks himself, but doesn't spend too long berating himself. Instead, he presses on.]
I can handle myself. I'm not telling you that to brush off your concerns, but so you can worry about other people who need it more.
But more importantly, if you need someone at your side to stop him, I'll be there. I'm used to taking point on these things these days, but I'm ready to follow your lead.
Sorry, not trying to put you in a rough position. I just know that if he knows hurting you will hurt me, he'll do it. You're my friend and ik you wanna be there I just don't want to drag you into the line of fire.
But that's not how it works in my world. The entire universe has been uniting. We put our own selfish desires and goals aside so that we can work together to bring peace to everyone. That means that everyone's in it together, and we try to think about that as a whole.
That's how I see our group now. I know that not everyone agrees. But we need to be a coalition if we're gonna get through this.
That means looking out for each other when we do have an enemy show up.
Yeah. Sounds like something I'd wanna see, your worlds got itself together more than mine but I'm gonna have to be the one heading the changes.
[ If there are problems they're now his responsibility more than anyone else's, which he'd accepted reluctantly. But recently he's learned that it's so much more than just burdens and leadership, when already that had felt overwhelming. ]
I want things to be that way. Just
the way this ends is me and him, I've gotta make it right on my own. If I get used to just relying on people to get me to that point then how am I gonna be ready?
What does that even mean? You and him, how you're gonna be ready. It doesn't need to be that way.
[Everything Noctis is saying runs counter to what Keith has learned through the past few years. Keith isn't alone, isn't unwanted. It's not as simple as that.]
If there was another way I'd jump on it, believe me. My power's what's gonna take him out and it's my family's responsibility, kings take care of their people.
I've got a lot of support I just know that when it comes down to it it's gonna be me taking that final hit. And idk wtf I'm doing Keith, I'm not trying to push people away I'm just trying to get this right.
I don't know what that means. A final hit? But whatever it means, it doesn't ... mean anything here. That power doesn't exist. Right? Because you're here and he's here, so none of it matters.
And maybe you need to be alone there. I don't know. I'll take your word at it.
But not here. You don't have to get that right here.
[ And he wants to thank him for that, for not only wanting to help but for trusting his word on the matter when its complexity goes beyond Noctis's ability to explain it. He doesn't have all the answers yet, probably never will. ]
Ik, I just wanna make sure that when it comes time for me to act on my own, I'm ready. You're right it's not now, maybe I'm looking at it wrong rn. I just can't fuck this up and I don't want anything happening to you.
[Keith is still puzzled about all of this. That's not to say that he doesn't get self-sacrifice. He has that in spades. His mom has it, his dad has it, Shiro has it, and so do most of the Blades. But there's something about this that seems off, like he's not getting a part and doesn't know the right question to ask.
So, he leaves his words where they are. They are kind of a "so there" set of words, but just the same.]
[ The words almost spark a little twitch of a smile, brief and quickly overwhelmed by everything else, but he can imagine the tone in which Keith would say it all too clearly. ]
Ik
[ He wants to promise that it won't, but that would make him a liar right now. Still. ]
I'm not gonna let him fuck me over without a fight, okay? And that includes having people like you on my side for that. I'm just not looking to start anything before I need to.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Wouldn't even know where to start, it's a lot. But I learned that someone close to me didn't make it through our war and I didn't know.
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[That's how some of what Shiro's gone through feels. He sympathizes, but it feels so distant. Removed. Keith tries to understand. And if it's a matter of what he himself should know?
It's probably worse.]
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[ What does he say? ]
It feels real. Everything's
No forget it. I'm just trying to get my head on straight still ig.
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That's maybe the first time I've ever read that one.
Keith there's something else I need to tell you about.
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[He feels that, smiling on his end. It's too bad that Noctis can't see that, but it's almost seemingly implied through the words.
If only he was an emoji guy. But that's not Keith. Will never be Keith.]
What is it?
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[ But, that depressing commiseration aside-- ]
There's a man here, Ardyn. He's dangerous. Watch out for him, and don't let him know we're friends.
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I met him already. I guess he doesn't really care about his hair all that much.
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Dunno about the hair part.
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I can handle myself. I'm not telling you that to brush off your concerns, but so you can worry about other people who need it more.
But more importantly, if you need someone at your side to stop him, I'll be there. I'm used to taking point on these things these days, but I'm ready to follow your lead.
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Keith I get that, just maybe do this for me anyway. I can handle myself too and he's still a threat. I'm gonna worry about you no matter what you say.
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Sorry, not trying to put you in a rough position. I just know that if he knows hurting you will hurt me, he'll do it. You're my friend and ik you wanna be there I just don't want to drag you into the line of fire.
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But that's not how it works in my world. The entire universe has been uniting. We put our own selfish desires and goals aside so that we can work together to bring peace to everyone. That means that everyone's in it together, and we try to think about that as a whole.
That's how I see our group now. I know that not everyone agrees. But we need to be a coalition if we're gonna get through this.
That means looking out for each other when we do have an enemy show up.
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[ If there are problems they're now his responsibility more than anyone else's, which he'd accepted reluctantly. But recently he's learned that it's so much more than just burdens and leadership, when already that had felt overwhelming. ]
I want things to be that way. Just
the way this ends is me and him, I've gotta make it right on my own. If I get used to just relying on people to get me to that point then how am I gonna be ready?
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[Everything Noctis is saying runs counter to what Keith has learned through the past few years. Keith isn't alone, isn't unwanted. It's not as simple as that.]
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I've got a lot of support I just know that when it comes down to it it's gonna be me taking that final hit. And idk wtf I'm doing Keith, I'm not trying to push people away I'm just trying to get this right.
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And maybe you need to be alone there. I don't know. I'll take your word at it.
But not here. You don't have to get that right here.
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[ And he wants to thank him for that, for not only wanting to help but for trusting his word on the matter when its complexity goes beyond Noctis's ability to explain it. He doesn't have all the answers yet, probably never will. ]
Ik, I just wanna make sure that when it comes time for me to act on my own, I'm ready. You're right it's not now, maybe I'm looking at it wrong rn. I just can't fuck this up and I don't want anything happening to you.
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[Keith is still puzzled about all of this. That's not to say that he doesn't get self-sacrifice. He has that in spades. His mom has it, his dad has it, Shiro has it, and so do most of the Blades. But there's something about this that seems off, like he's not getting a part and doesn't know the right question to ask.
So, he leaves his words where they are. They are kind of a "so there" set of words, but just the same.]
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Ik
[ He wants to promise that it won't, but that would make him a liar right now. Still. ]
I'm not gonna let him fuck me over without a fight, okay? And that includes having people like you on my side for that. I'm just not looking to start anything before I need to.
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["I'll try to keep my temper in check for you, friend."]
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